Weird stuff becomes normal if you watch it enough times on TV.

Money used to be backed by gold and silver. Now it isn’t backed by anything except a very nervous guy from the government, and he is edging towards the door.

Some people call them “sand traps.” I like to think of them as “sand opportunities.”

Why bother?

1. You don’t have any choice.

2. That’s the only reason.

In the expression “E=MC squared,” does the “MC” stand for macaroni times cheese?

The computer is an incredible machine. It knows everything and can do anything, like they used to say about God, before he got into politics.

What is the purpose of life? Apparently we are here to sell things to our fellow human beings.

Is climate change real or not? On one side you have all the scientists of the world. On the other side are radio talk-show hosts. Tough call.

If somebody says I am “Three sheets to the wind,” it doesn’t mean I am drunk. It is just laundry day.

Cosmic question: Does the universe have an ending, or does it just keep going on forever, like a foreign movie?